Blogs | Daily Crasher
Bicyclists and Podiatrists
By Josh Board | Posted August 29, 2009, 1:26 p.m.
My girlfriend and I were leaving Street Scene early. The hot weather was wearing me out, as well as all the standing.
We had just finished seeing Cake, and it would've been another hour before Cage the Elephant, a band I was really looking forward to seeing.
We walked to the car, drove down a street downtown, and we couldn't figure out why traffic wasn't moving. The lights changed a few times and still, no movement. I rolled down the window and stuck my head out, only to see one of those idiotic Critical Mass things going by.
The light changed a few more times, and still...lots and lots of bicyclists.
I jumped out of the car, went to the corner and yelled a few curse words at 'em. A few flipped me off. I asked a cop in his car why he wasn't doing anything about it. But then I saw a few cops quickly drive by with their lights on. It looked more like they were escorting them, though.
I took the gum out of my mouth and threw it at one rider. Then I picked a rock up off the ground and hit another. But I swear, next time I see a group like this, they better hope I'm not the first car. When the light turns green, I'm going. I'll worry about the consequences later.
But karma does do some interesting things. That night on the news, I heard that two of these very riders, were in an accident and one is in critical condition. I hope this critical mass rider, has critical injuries. Idiots like this don't deserve to be on the planet.
But on to the podiatrist in Poway, a much more fun story.
This doctor claimed to have conducted surgical procedures on peoples feet. But you know what he really did?
Okay...let's go multiple choice:
A) He fondled the patients feet. B) He sniffed the patients feet. C) He photographed the patients feet, sometimes even dressing them up like his favorite Muppet characters D) He pleasured himself with the feet E) He trimmed and filed the patients' toenails
Now, if you guessed "D", I'm worried about you. If you guessed "C"...you're probably one of those people that brings your camera everywhere, and would understand why a doctor might want a few snapshots of feet.
But the answer is "F". He trimmed and filed patients' toenails. And he got five months in jail, and five months house arrest for this (as well as a $5,000 fine). That's a lot of fives for messing with patients five little piggies.
Can you imagine him walking into prison, and a big dude in his cell asks "What you in for?!"
He has to respond with "Trimming toenails." Oh yeah, he's going to be popular in the pokey.
He defrauded Medicare of over $65,000.
And if you think about it...the patients went for a procedure in which an incision would be made, and there would be drainage.
But if you were a patient of any doctor, and you were told the doctor didn't really do the procedure...well, if you had a brain tumor, it would be a lot worse.
At least these patients walked out of there looking down and saying, "Wow, my feet have never looked better!"
I love Cake, I saw them at Del Mar a few years ago.
And Josh, stop throwing things. Be patient. Write about it, don't participate. You can't keep a neutral perspective if you're involved.
By refriedgringo 2:17 p.m., Aug 29, 2009 > Report it
Cake is great. Gotta love the trumpet, vibraslap, and talking vocal stylings of the band.
Yeah, good point, refried. But when people are breaking the law, and for no good reason, well...I feel like breaking things.
I might next time press the "walk" sign on the stoplight. And when it's my turn to "walk", I'm just going to go. And I might take a few cyclists down with me. Perhaps with a clothes line move we used to do in football.
By JoshBoard 3:22 p.m., Aug 29, 2009 > Report it
i don't understand...what is critical mass?
By magicsfive 4:10 p.m., Aug 29, 2009 > Report it
"Critical mass" is the point where a star, unable to support its own mass due to energy created from its own gravitational forces, implodes and creates a black hole. That's the theory, anyway.
By refriedgringo 4:50 p.m., Aug 29, 2009 > Report it
um...what? and that's how come josh was stuck in traffic? as usual refried i'm confused lol...how you been anyway?
By magicsfive 7:16 p.m., Aug 29, 2009 > Report it
Hah! Josh is a black hole waiting to happen! He's volatile, ready to explode on a moment's notice!
I'm fine, hun, but I miss you. How are you?
By refriedgringo 7:33 p.m., Aug 29, 2009 > Report it
i'm ok my friend and i miss you too. i can't wait to see you guys again. idk when that will be but i am already makin plans :D
By magicsfive 8:32 p.m., Aug 29, 2009 > Report it
I was so hoping that C was the correct answer.
Feet dressed like Kermit. Or Gonzo. Nice.
'Cause you know that he would have posted the pix on the Internet.
Magic - Critical Mass is when a hundred of so people on bikes block traffic for as long as possible. I think it's some kind of plea for equal rights to the road.
- Joe
By tikicult 8:34 p.m., Aug 29, 2009 > Report it
ahh...i see. that explains it. i hate that too!!! thanks joe :)
refried your intelligence surpasses my understanding and i love you for it <3
By magicsfive 9:58 p.m., Aug 29, 2009 > Report it
I ain't all that smart ;)
I can't wait to see you again, hopefully we'll get to spend more time together. That would be awesome.
By refriedgringo 10:07 p.m., Aug 29, 2009 > Report it
oh we're gonna. i have no prior commitments this time. it's all about my new friends next time around, and who are you kidding.. you are super smart dear friend. maybe we can get surfpup to come along and spark up a debate or two wit josh...i am curious :) i have also been drinkin the cherry vodka tonight so you will have to excuse me if i get outta line..it's only just begun ;)
By magicsfive 10:33 p.m., Aug 29, 2009 > Report it
No prob. Just give me notice when you're going to come down here. I look forward to it.
By refriedgringo 11:04 p.m., Aug 29, 2009 > Report it
for sure for sure refried...i gotcha covered...you'll be there xoxoxo
By magicsfive 11:26 p.m., Aug 29, 2009 > Report it
We have quite a few cyclists in Esco and the response is a lot like yours, Josh. Sometimes they get lost and ask for directions while I'm walking my dogs. I'm tempted to give them the wrong directions so they won't come back.
By thestoryteller 11:35 p.m., Aug 29, 2009 > Report it
If you guys think you hate bike nerds in SD, try living in the wine country. <rolls eyes> However, after reading this...
"I took the gum out of my mouth and threw it at one rider. Then I picked a rock up off the ground and hit another. But I swear, next time I see a group like this, they better hope I'm not the first car. When the light turns green, I'm going. I'll worry about the consequences later.
But karma does do some interesting things. That night on the news, I heard that two of these very riders, were in an accident and one is in critical condition. I hope this critical mass rider, has critical injuries. Idiots like this don't deserve to be on the planet."
...I'm on their side, against YOU, anyway. Absolutely disgusting. Even more than usual. Obviously you don't understand much about "karma" OR "assault."
But it's okay, because you'll eventually get to find out what "karma" really means.
Outta here.
By antigeekess 12:28 a.m., Aug 30, 2009 > Report it
I'm with you, Josh. These d@#$heads are just out to piss people off and try to cause trouble, and they piss me off in particular because I ride a bike, and these ja#@offs are pissing off drivers I'm going to have to share the road with. So when the walk signal lights up, you start on one side, I'll start on the other, and we'll see who can get the high score.
By rickeysays 2:36 a.m., Aug 30, 2009 > Report it
Does Costco sell bulk boxes of tacks?
By Ponzi 7:10 a.m., Aug 30, 2009 > Report it
Yeah, I thought about the tacks or nails, Ponzi.
Hey Antigeek...why are you on THEIR side? For breaking the law, and TRYING to tick people off? Well, if that's their goal, they succeeded. They ticked me off. And I'll tack them off, and they'll get lots of flat tires.
Viva La Revenge!
By JoshBoard 8:53 p.m., Aug 30, 2009 > Report it
Anti...I thought about what type of person you are. You're the type that hates Harley's riding by your house because they're loud (as you mentioned once in a post), yet if you had a Harley, you wouldn't give a crap about what others felt about the sound.
You're the type of person that has a cat (as you've mentioned many times), yet you probably don't see the problem with neighbors that might complain about cat poop or allergies, or their garden being torn up. You'd say "cats are supposed to be outdoor pets."
You're the type of person that probably hates when someone takes their sweet time pulling out of a parking space you want, yet if it's you doing that, you tell the person with you "They can just wait their damn turn!" As you take your sweet time buckling up, pulling something out of the glove compartment, or whatever.
People that aren't considerate of others, are the scum of the earth. Until you can explain WHY you would be on the side of bike riders that only wish to create problems for motorists, you're a loser.
(and...didn't these riders do this to protest how bad motorists are in regards to the environment? Well...when we sit and idle at a light for 10 minutes as they take their sweet time riding thru intersections, that's a lot worse for the ozone layer than if we were able to drive thru the lights...the way they do!!!)
By JoshBoard 1:58 a.m., Aug 31, 2009 > Report it
hey josh, i was at the critical mass...got a AA battery ready for you next time. i have to put up with car drivers every day when i ride through downtown, you fools can wait for us every so often!
By mentaltwist 10 a.m., Sep 1, 2009 > Report it
The waaaaaaaaaaambulance is on the way mentaltwist.
By PistolPete 10:17 a.m., Sep 1, 2009 > Report it
mental...here's the thing. I'm the most respectful person on the road. Whether that's a motorcycle or bicycle.
But, for you to say that we can wait for you "every so often"...well, the problem is this. You are doing that MERELY to cause havoc.
I'm not even one of those drivers that gets mad if I see a cyclist 500 feet in front of me, that blows a stop sign. If it doesn't slow me down, why would I care?
But when you guys purposely get together, with the sole purpose of upsetting drivers, well...then you're an idiot. And I'd love nothing more than for an 18-wheeler to plow you guys all down.
If, on the other hand, you guys are just going for a Sunday afternoon bike ride, I'll go out of my way, to give you guys all the room in the world.
Even if it's a daily ride to work.
But what you're doing, would be like someone being mad at filmmakers that show to much violence, and then going into Tarantinos latest movie and sitting there causing a disturbance for the people that want to watch it.
By JoshBoard 11:20 a.m., Sep 1, 2009 > Report it
Well, if anyone wants to join me in south park, I'm getting a mob together with thumbtacks and broomsticks, seriously. I know a lot of people in my neighborhood that are fed up with these jerkoffs.
CA VC 21208. (a) Whenever a bicycle lane has been established on a roadway pursuant to Section 21207, any person operating a bicycle upon the roadway at a speed less than the normal speed of traffic moving in the same direction at that time shall ride within the bicycle lane, except that the person may move out of the lane under any of the following situations:
(1) When overtaking and passing another bicycle, vehicle, or pedestrian within the lane or about to enter the lane if the overtaking and passing cannot be done safely within the lane.
(2) When preparing for a left turn at an intersection or into a private road or driveway.
(3) When reasonably necessary to leave the bicycle lane to avoid debris or other hazardous conditions.
(4) When approaching a place where a right turn is authorized.
(b) No person operating a bicycle shall leave a bicycle lane until the movement can be made with reasonable safety and then only after giving an appropriate signal in the manner provided in Chapter 6 (commencing with Section 22100) in the event that any vehicle may be affected by the movement.
CA VC21200. (a) Every person riding a bicycle upon a highway has all the rights and is subject to ALL THE PROVISIONS APPLICABLE TO THE DRIVER OF A VEHICLE by this division, including, but not limited to, provisions concerning driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages or drugs, and by Division 10 (commencing with Section 20000), Section 27400, Division 16.7 (commencing with Section 39000), Division 17 (commencing with Section 40000.1), and Division 18 (commencing with Section 42000), except those provisions which by their very nature can have no application.
By jmtrudeau 12:13 p.m., Sep 1, 2009 > Report it
jm...count me and my stepbrother in. We can bring more people with us, too.
Email me directly (via instant message on this site), and tell me what time, and where you're hooking up.
Also...to any of the idiots that do the Critical Mass, they really should read the link to the website that someone posted. It really shows just how insane they are.
I have more respect for PETA folks that throw paint on your leather jacket. Because, at least they feel your love of animal products is the reason they are killed. Don't get me wrong, I disagree with them doing it, but it sure makes a lot more sense than cyclists that just want to clog the roads and tick off drivers. And it really creates absolutely no awareness for ANYTHING.
By JoshBoard 2:51 p.m., Sep 1, 2009 > Report it
When the CM ride happens some of the riders are appointed as "corkers". They basically are the ones who get off their bikes, line up and block all traffic. I wish they'd just wear a t-shirt with " human buttplug" on it so the cops know which one to go for.
I still can't understand why this is being tolerated by SDPD.
By towelheadedcameljockey 3:21 p.m., Sep 1, 2009 > Report it
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By PistolPete 3:33 p.m., Sep 1, 2009 > Report it
And you know what the crazy thing is? If this group of us gets organized, and stops this...and things get violent and ugly (which I hope they don't), these CM idiots won't get it. WE actually have a cause. The cause is simple: Stop harassing other drivers on the road by breaking the law. They didn't have a cause.
By JoshBoard 4:02 p.m., Sep 1, 2009 > Report it
Well, with out going into too much detail, I live within a 10 min walk to the Whistle Stop or Hamilton's if anyone wants to find a meeting point somewhere in that area as the Critical mAsholes like to use 30th st quite often.
By jmtrudeau 5:23 p.m., Sep 1, 2009 > Report it
Well...since this one mental guy is posting, and seems to be half-way reasonable, I say we give him the Friday they get to the fountain, to let the riders know all the reasons they're wrong. And also let them know, so many drivers are getting fed up, that if they don't change their ways, we're serious about meeting up and doing something to stop them. And, that I have to believe, the cops will be on OUR SIDE in this one (meaning, if things turn ugly).
Because, part of me hates the idea of meeting up, with the sole intent of causing a scene. Because, then I feel I'm sort of stooping to their level. Not that that's ever stopped me before, but...I kinda liked the idea that if I ever run into the CM crowd, and I'm in my car...well, I just go when the light turns green. If that means a major accident, or someone falls over my hood, well...we'll let the courts decide who was wrong. Me going thru a green light (and possibly saying in court I just didn't see the cyclist, as I was looking down for a second, but I did see the light turn green and went, assuming that's a safe time to pull forward).
By JoshBoard 12:07 a.m., Sep 2, 2009 > Report it
josh, just had a thought - has anyone contacted SDPD to get their take on the event? they are out there, but what is the official opinion of the event / attendees? might just have to contact them and see if i can get a view of it from their eyes. fair enough?
so far it seems to be "us vs them", lemme see if i can't get a third opinion...
By mentaltwist 8:24 a.m., Sep 2, 2009 > Report it
Well mental...I actually did that. Since it was the first day of Street Scene, and trying to leave, that I got trapped. Well, on the second day, there were cops around a street. And I asked one.
He told me things about the cops trying to send undercover riders in, to make sure they're doing everything legal. He also said it ends up that they just drive along, and ride along, making sure that nothing hardcore happens and that everyone is safe.
I basically got the impression from him, that becuase it's such a large group, there isn't much the cops can do. It's not like with illegal street racing, where there are cars that cop cars can just follow if they try to take off.
When an officer (as I'm sure you heard) knocked one guy off a bike to arrest him, it was the cop that got into trouble, as that's apparently not proper procedure!
But, it's cool that you're looking into it and even willing to discuss all this. As I've always said, in every situation, it's nice when cooler heads prevail.
By JoshBoard 10:04 a.m., Sep 2, 2009 > Report it
I called the non-emergency line for the July ride because some of the riders where slapping and banging on my girlfriends car because she was unfortuate enough to get stuck in the middle of the mob and the dispatcher basically told me they have no official stance and they are there to try and keep the peace. I have also wrote letters to the Mayor and the wonderful douche of a city councilman for my neighborhood.
I agree that I don't want to stoop to their level but what else can be done to stop a rioting mob on wheels. Sure some of the riders truly believe they are out there to try and raise awareness while another portion of the group is out there to ride and create havoc. Some say its a protest and they have the right to do it, but in protesting you are not allowed to forcefully block and entry to a building or a public sidewalk or street. So the legal protest definition goes out the window when they "cork" streets.
If CM wants to have a mass ride and tie up city resources, they should be forced to obtain a permit and pay the fees for the cops to be present otherwise, when they are gathering, the crowd should be dispersed.
I know that law enforcement can't ticket everyone of them, but I'm sure they can round up groups that they witness going through red lights and ticket that group. If they get several groups that night, maybe the $400 ticket will sting a few of them and realize that they must obey traffic laws.
I know a lot of the riders are trying to raise awareness that cyclists are on the road and are fed up with getting hit, but the majority of news articles that I read, the cyclists were at fault by either running stop signs, or riding and passing a car on the right while the car is making a right turn. I almost hit a guy on the way to work because he didn't stop at a stop sign. Southpark riders need to pay attention to the stop signs and just because you're coasting downhill on 30th, doesn't give you the right to blow through them at will.
By jmtrudeau 11:28 a.m., Sep 2, 2009 > Report it
Good point, jm. I'm back in. Email me directly for details, and we'll try to rally the troops.
The funniest thing is the whole idea that they want to raise awareness about being hit, yet they're angering enough cars that the cars are going to WANT to hit them.
It's kind of like that guy that just slapped the heck out of a 2-year-old in a Wal-Mart. He told the mother to shut the kid up or he would. And well...he sure did! Now he's probably going to do some serious jail time (as he should). I just wish, next time a parent has a screaming kid, they realize it's annoying and take the tot outside. And next time a man gets fed up...slap her! You'll still be in trouble, but geez...the 2-year-old doesn't know better. The mom certainly does.
But anyway...back to the CM idiots. They don't seem to know better...so, if we create some problems for them...then maybe the cops are finally going to be forced to take a stand on all this.
Also JM, have you tried going through small claims court? Tell them about the scratches on the car, and it would be easy enough to serve the group, right at the fountain where they line up. Although, I guess I see all the problems on why that angle wouldn't work.
By JoshBoard 3:21 p.m., Sep 2, 2009 > Report it
I'm a daily bicycle commuter 17 miles each way. Critical Mass people are tools. The two that collided and got injured should have been wearing helmets. I don't agree with the commenter that wished them harm, though.
San Diego drivers are just about the politest that I've ever encountered. I've only had a few close calls, usually with bus drivers. CM folks are gonna ruin the street culture here.
By sdrexler 10:28 p.m., Sep 4, 2009 > Report it
First Drex, awesome that you bike. Great for the environment, great for your health.
Second, it's cool that you're calling the CM folks tools. I might start typing it as Critical mASS.
I also appreciate you chiming in on the subject.
My stepbrother rides once in a while, and I decided to go with him from Carmel Valley, where I had a condo at the time, to UTC. I was dying.
Well, there was one moment where we're on Miramar Road...not sure if it's at the point that it becomes La Jolla Village yet or not. Right before UTC, where the 805 off ramp is. And two cars honked at us, as if we didn't belong to even be on the road. It was unbelievable.
So, as polite as you say drivers are, I bet the cyclists just get sick of all the crap they have to put up with them. And I really don't blame them.
But, to go on these rides on the last Friday of each month, does absolutely nothing for their cause, other than angering drivers and creating fights, and fingers being bitten off (yes, that happened at one of those, not just at the health care town hall meetings).
I will admit, it sounds sh***y of me to say that I wish harm on people. But it's a trait I can't get rid of. And that is, if I feel someones purpose in ANYTHING is just to be rude and a jerk, unless they are under the age of 16, I think they're probably going to go through life being a jerk. And I simply tire of that boorish behavior, and especially the fact that NOBODY else ever calls them on this. So, we having talking in movie theatres, bike riders being rude, car drivers being rude, pedastrians that walk in front of a car and slow down their strut, as if to say "I have rights, too," instead of just quickly walking, to make life easier for everyone.
By JoshBoard 12:20 a.m., Sep 6, 2009 > Report it
The "corking" is the main reason I don't participate in CM. Sure, I want respect as a cyclist (both bicycle and motorcycle) from other vehicles, but I know that I have to earn it by following the law. I expect others to do the same.
By SomeoneElse 4:20 p.m., Sep 6, 2009 > Report it
Well Josh, I thought you were a lame when you came to our breast-cancer fundraiser, then dissed it in your column. Now you're on a new level.
You obviously can't comprehend that the event is about awareness. ARE YOU AWARE NOW? I think so.
I haven't done C.M. in a while, but I'll certainly be there in September (last Friday of every month, 7PM, Balboa fountain). So set up shop on 6th and Laurel, to be sure you get a good view. But remember, we roll 1,000 deep with a police escort...
By fourthaxis 10:32 a.m., Sep 11, 2009 > Report it
Hey fourthidiot...first, why do you guys think I "dissed" your fundraiser? Go back to the column right now, and re-read. I talk about a party with some members of the band KISS, and all the fake breasts. I then START my story about your party by saying "but I went to a great party earlier in the day." So...how is calling your event "great" a diss? Do you know how to read? Do you know how to interpret what you read?
Second, the party was actually very lame. Yet I didn't write that, because I felt it was a good cause. But seriously...I was there for two hours. And I think I saw a total of 8 people. Wow, what a great bash.
You guys are just bitter because I didn't put a bunch of mentions of your website. But what people fail to realize is...when they are doing a CD release, or fundraiser, my job isn't to write two pages about where you can buy the CD, how great the CD is, how talented the musician is, etc. It's about describing the party.
But the fact that you aren't like the poster, SomeoneElse, and able to realize how goofy and idiotic the Critical mASS riders are, shows me that the 8 people that were at this breast cancer fundraiser (that probably raised a whopping $25 that day) were probably all dopes anyway.
By JoshBoard 10:51 a.m., Sep 11, 2009 > Report it
just remember that not everyone on a bike participates in this fiasco...especially on the last friday of the month. I've had things thrown at me and 'door-ed' just for riding a bike and I partly blame CM / partly blame people reacting without thinking.
Also remember that any harm you do to anyone equals jail time.
Inna 'attack with a deadly weapon' style.
By MMAARRKK 11:41 a.m., Sep 11, 2009 > Report it
Im going to bring the "trait you can't get rid of" you name the time and the place. I have never felt the desire for harm to come to someone as badly as after I read your imbcilic post. I am sure you are having a great Friday hanging out on your own blog and playing moron with your fellow commenters. Why not start the weekend off right? Reply to this and bring your friends with tacks and brooms. I am dead serious. You are a sick individual. I am going to exercise your traits on your face.
By Fjoshboard 2:31 p.m., Sep 11, 2009 > Report it
#40. Wow, another telephone tough guy who can not even spell.
By jmtrudeau 3:09 p.m., Sep 11, 2009 > Report it
Enough. Enough of the threats to spread thumbtacks or take cars to plough through cyclists, and enough of the threats of revenge. Just drop it, everybody.
By russl 4:14 p.m., Sep 11, 2009 > Report it
...First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they attack you, and then you win... -Gandhi
Think about it, if you're failing to see the cause it's because you don't even understand the problem. Shameful to wish harm and even death upon anybody.
Peace
By BikerEd 1:37 a.m., Sep 12, 2009 > Report it
You Critical mASS people are unbelievable. I go out on a Friday night, some fun parties, concerts, lots of good times. I come home and hear lots of messages on my home phone. I hear a few messages on my Reader officer line. And I see these posts, and have some personal emails of threats. You guys need to chill.
Seriously. As the cyclist above just said...he can't ride on Friday night, because drivers think he's part of your insane ritual.
Did you guys even check out that website someone posted? It explains all the reasons why what you do is insane. My rants about it aren't insane. You're doing harm to the environment, by making cars idle and wait 15 minutes for you to ride by, as you go thru red lights without stopping.
Look...I'm not seriously going to go out and do anything. Mainly because...I've already posted that I would. Therefore, it wouldn't be hard for the cops to charge me with some sort of pre-meditated crime.
I just hope that I'm not out on a Friday when someone tries to cork the road by parking their bike in front of my car. Because when the light turns green, I'll go.
And I'll deal with the cops (and jail time), later. I figure a good lawyer can easily get me out of it. I have lawyer friends that would take the case for free.
Just me saying I saw the light turn green, and didn't see any cyclists. I was looking at all the ones that passed, and ASSumed that was all of them.
Again, if you CM people can post on here WHY you do what you do, and what point is being proven, maybe we can all come to an agreement.
If not...well, take to the streets at your own risk.
By JoshBoard 2:05 a.m., Sep 12, 2009 > Report it